I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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