i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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