Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
