I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
