Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
