Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
