Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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