Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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