bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
