is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize