She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
