Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
