so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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