p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
