Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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