i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
