He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
