We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
