are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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