it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
