It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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