my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were trust falling into bushes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize