see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize