I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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