The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
