i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
