Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
