It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
