I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
