He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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