I cockslap morals
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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