idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
