Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
