am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
