so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize