it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
