it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
