i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
