This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
