it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
