I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
