Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize