Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize