I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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