And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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