You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize