Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
