You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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