Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
