if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
