I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
