Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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