went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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