think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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