'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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