I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
