Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I understand Curling. That high.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
