i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
