Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
