:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
