I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
