yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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