I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
