With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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