if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
