She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
