can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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